Chronicles of a
Cancer Patient

I don’t have much to report this week about me. I had chemo on Monday, and it was a bad week, worse than the others. My hands went numb again, and I’m almost glad because that means the doc will take out one of the drugs for the last couple times. I played one gig all week, a choir concert for a good friend, and it just knocked the hell out of me to do it. It was on Thursday, and usually I’m ok by Thursday, but I guess it’s getting worse.

But whatever, it’ll be over soon. 2 more chemos, and at least I beat it. I guess once I heard that I beat it, my mind started to turn to future things and plans, and just getting on with my life. In that way, these last few chemos seem like such a nuisance. I don’t think I would have described them as a “nuisance” five months ago. Also, there are some other medical things going on in the family now that seem more important, and that’s saying something.

Life is rolling along, despite the cancer treatments. I can’t say much yet, but I’ve got my fingers crossed that I might get a short story published in the next year – more on that another time. I’ve heard from some people interested in becoming students, and once chemo is finished next month, I’m booked solid with gigs until April. (I’m booking May now, anybody want me for May?) And I’m still working out recordings for the coming CD.

In a way, I sometimes think that it’s been nice to have the past 5 – soon to be 6 – months to sit and reflect on life while in a semi-desperate situation. I mean, I’ve come up with a lot of good thoughts during this time, and – no doubt – grown up double quick. I’m infinitely closer to several people – my parents, my brother, my girlfriend – and that’s a really nice outcome from a terrible situation. When I first started I knew that cancer would teach me things, and I hoped that I’d be wise enough to find the lessons – and I think I have learned a lot.

I know not to take health for granted. I was good, before, about living life deliberately, but I’m even more set on that now. I know the value of a relationship, and what it really means to stick by somebody.

They say that cancer mellows people out, that survivors are pretty chill people. I’d say that I’m a lot more mellow about somethings and a lot more vehement about others. I’m a lot more uppity about living life on my own terms and not following the pack, I used to waver more on that subject before this. Now I know that life is too short to live someone else’s and call it your own.

Anyway, I know that a lot of other stuff and I can’t think of right now.

I’ve got two more treatments. Stick with me. I’m almost done.